Friday, February 10, 2006

Blinged Out Botox Barbie 

Well. Isn't that an education?

You might already know this, but I'll point it out just in case I'm not actually the last know this. If you have girls, please do not make the mistake of assuming that sending them to a whatever-something-girls.com site will keep them out of trouble. And I'm not even talking bikini-babe screensaver popups.

I don't know how this got started -- it couldn't possibly have anything to do with a series of teenaged-girls as babysitters, could it? -- but our girls started asking to play on the computer at Everything Girl.com. Sounds reasonable enough, doesn't it? Not like some sort of online first person shooter emporium, so maybe it could nice.

Checked out the opening screen, puppies playing in flowers, a winged fairy floating on screen -- the worst thing I could see was Barbie's botoxed face. But I remember Barbie from all her commercials when I was growing up -- yucky girl stuff, but harmless. So we said sure, why not?

I'll frame this as another of my recent mutiple choice quiz questions, since I now know the html for lettered lists -- let me know when you're sick of the quizzes. See if you can guess which of the following is NOT found on the Everything Girl site:

  1. Gabby doll is the ultimate girly girl! She loves shopping, beauty treatments & the color pink. With your help, she can strike a pose & curl her shiny blond locks!
  2. Bold, bedazzled Deondra is a glam girl! Pretty & posable, she's into hip-hop dancin' like a diva, hot hair extensions & her fave fashion must-have: bling!
  3. My Bling Bling shopping: Chelsea burns up the Bling-Bling scene in an ultra-hot halter top and sassy skirt! Sooo scorchin'!
  4. Party Limo: It's like a Hollywood party on wheels! Raise the roof, fill up the hot tub, and turn on the disco lights!
  5. Barbie tattoo parlour and piercing salon: Barbie is slammin' it with a butterfly ankle tattoo and blinged out earrings. Then help Barbie pick a platinum nose stud or the perfect belly ring!
Yeah, they haven't gotten around to implementing the last one. But if they find my link in their referrer logs and bother to read the post, it wouldn't surprise me to see it show up in coming weeks. A little piece of the action is all I ask.

In the meantime, it might be time to put the kids back on a strict regimen of homework, playing with empty shoeboxes and more homework. I'm not ready to raise glammed out, heroine-chic 8 year old girls. And I'm not really sure when I will be.

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: