Sunday, April 03, 2005

So what's the big bloggin' deal here? 

I occasionally hop around blog-space using the "next blog" button at the top right as a way of sampling what people blog. It's an interesting experience. I would say that over the last few weeks I've probably zipped through a hundreds of blogs that no one has ever heard of.

Maybe 20% of these are minutely detailed personal blogs, basically publishing what would otherwise be a private diary or a daily letter to a best friend describing everything the blogger ate, thought about eating, wished they hadn't eaten, or wished they hadn't thought about eating, or at least wished now they hadn't blogged about thinking about eating it.

Another 30% or more are in a "foreign" language, and since I don't speak Gibberish I can't tell you what they're about. I just hope its not the meeting notes for the Global Jihad Club (meeting at the Embassy next Tuesday, don't tell anybody!).

There is another 20% that are Christian sites, either ministers publicizing their sermons, or youth group leaders busy leading youth groups.

Of course there are a lot of w3IrD t33N sIt3s wh3R3 "U" kant 3v3n hav3 a cLu3 wHaT D3yz rItIn.

But the group that puzzles me most is the remaining, um--100 minus 20 takeway 30 less 20 subtract however many teen sites I found as well as my own site and my brother's site leaves... uh...carry the two--30% plus or minus 42.137%. These sites are a blurry mush of marketing terms all blended together into a big formless lump that has been excreted onto the blogging page by I-don't-know-who. What are they thinking? They all look alike, with just different word lists combined in endless variations.

I'm trying to figure out where this is coming from. I'm picturing some slicked-back-hair dude in front of an attentive, note-taking audience at your airport's Sheraton ballroom. He's telling them how to get rich through web-based marketing, big handout totes holding bound volumes of word lists, marketing terms and a primer called "Don't forget the href For Dummies". Is there some cookbook going around that explains how simple and easy it is to get your own blogger account(s) and spam the world for free, without having to so much as write your own virus to take over and control the world's unprotected computers to forward your otherwise filterable email?

What's amazing too, is that I haven't seen a single blog pumping Viagra. Instead, it's the big money makers:

Who in the world do these people think they're selling to? And how do they imagine the mindless drivel they use for copy is going to compel somebody to click that link and buy-buy-buy?

Spyware Removal - Free Spyware Removers
Spyware Removal - Free Spyware Removers: " Download Spyware Blaster Free Adware And Spyware Downloads Free Adware Spyware Remover Program"

Would you buy spyware-removal from this guy? I'd make sure I had my spyware and virus stuff turned up to 11 before I clicked anything on his site. I feel unclean just linking to him.

If they would just put some useful information in there, maybe I'd understand. I might be tempted by someone who seems to know what they're talking about--like my brother, at least when he finishes his site.

Did I just plug my brother's business site? From my blog? Oh no, I've gone over to the dark side.

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: