Friday, April 07, 2006
Top ten candidates to play Mother Teresa in film:
- Susan Sarandon -- without Tim Robbins of course.
- Madonna -- so they can make it an Evita-style musical ("Don't cry for me Calcutta")
- Jim Carrey -- it's the last barrier left to the rubber-faced comedian's total domination of world cinema.
- Dame Judi Dench -- because a role of this magnitude requires the kind of pomp and gravity that only a fancy English title can provide.
- Paris Hilton -- for the sex scenes.
- Angelina Jolie -- as a quid-pro-quo in an Indian baby adoption scheme.
- Rosie O'Donnell -- hey, if she could play Tevye's wife Golde...
- Aishwarya Rai -- because she's Indian, and beautiful, and so what if most Americans have never heard of her.
- Mel Gibson's wife -- because he wants to direct it, having all the dialog in the original language with no subtitles, and doesn't want a big-name star to obscure the humanity of the story.
- Julia Roberts -- as a "coming out of retirement" opportunity that should give the movie enough "Erin Brockovich" box office clout to justify its budget.
How'd you do?