Monday, May 22, 2006
Oprah's Jenin Week -- Day 1: Mothers
[roll intro video]
Oprah:
[backing intro] Welcome to Israel, or as it is known in Arabic and French, Palestine. But whatever you call it, so much goes down in this little patch of holy land that, despite its small size, it merits almost as many reporters as a Britney Spears wedding. And Jenin is right in the middle of it all. Home to Palestinians, site of massacres and checkpoints and you name it, a city of suffering and courage, and hopefully, the seeds of peace. All this week, live from Jenin. Next...[dissolve to Oprah in front of live, mostly female Palestinian audience in Jenin studio]
Crowd:
Oprah!...We love you...woo woo...Death to the...Oprah:
Thank you Jenin!...Crowd:
Woooo...[ululation]...[more ululation]...Oprah:
Thank you. Enough, please. Ok, Welcome to the Oprah show...Thank you...all this week, live from Jenin...Crowd:
Jenin!!!...[ululation]...Allahu Akbar!!! [crowd surges away]...woooo...We want Dr. Phil!...Woooooot!Oprah:
Thank you. Look, I'm going to be here all week, so save a little bit of that, ok? Now, we're here in Jenin, a place with a lot of problems, and we're going to spend the week looking a little deeper. For today's show we had a beautiful idea to highlight the kind of change that is possible. We sent out a call for three mothers of suicide bombers...Crowd:
Wooop woop woop...Allahu Akbar!....Oprah:
Yes, ok, three mothers who would be willing to appear and, despite their children's ultimate sacrifice, speak out instead on behalf of peace.Crowd:
...[cough]...Oprah:
Thank you. Yes, ok, so let's get started. I'd like to introduce our three Suicide Bomber Moms for Peace, but unfortunately one of our moms, Mariam Farhat--Crowd:
Woop Woop...[ululation]Oprah:
Yes, THAT Mariam Farhat -- the Mother of Martyrs -- is busy elsewhere today, deeply engaged in her newest duties, hoping to give the deaths of three of her sons some sort of meaning. As you know, she has been elected to the new Palestinian Authority Parliament--Crowd:
[ululation]Oprah:
Yes, you go girl! Yes she has, and she's unfortunately been delayed up there, secluded in some sort of meeting with her oldest remaining son, hopefully bringing her dreams of peace just that much closer.Crowd:
Allahu Akbar!Oprah:
Right, well, so let's bring out our two remaining Suicide Bomber Moms for Peace, Fatima and Wafa. Let's hear it...Crowd:
[applause][Fatima and Wafa appear onstage and approach Oprah. They gingerly hug her and sit opposite Oprah on the couch].
Oprah:
It's so good to have you with us -- I love that fabric by the way, the color so totally draws attention to your eyes.Fatima:
Thank you and I love...your...uh...draws attention...could we bring you a blanket?Oprah:
Ha, no. Don't worry, you'll see. These lights will warm you up real quick, especially in those gorgeous outfits.Wafa:
What Fatima means is that you are dressed most immodestly and perhaps your people could bring you something a little less harlot-ish to wear.Oprah:
Oh, I see. Ok, I'll have the boys see if they can rustle up something a bit more culturally sensitive before the next segment -- is pink ok though? [they nod] So, tell me, polls show that support for suicide bombings is growing in Palestinian society and--Fatima:
We call them martyrdom operations.Oprah:
Right, support is growing for martydom operations... so, are you afraid of the reactions of your friends and neighbors to your coming on the show here and advocating peace? Is that why you don't want to give your real names?Wafa:
Good heavens no, we are concerned only about the Israeli storm-troopers and their collective punishment. We don't want them knowing who we were, coming and destroying our villages and stealing our children's vital organs for their Passover soup.Oprah:
Surely you exaggerate. I've tried Passover soup... I mean, if this is how you really feel about the Israelis, why would you think your dreams of peace will ever come true?Fatima:
Well, we also have more sons the Israelis don't know yet and--Wafa:
Yes, yes, enough said, it's just better this way.Oprah:
Ahhh. Yes, the youth are our future. Now I see it. Very well then. So at a time when peace seems farther away than ever, what has led the two of you, along with other mothers in your situation, to change your minds and embrace peace?Fatima:
We haven't--Wafa:
It's not a case of changing our minds really, since we have always supported peace, just as we do now. Total peace in our land. Do you think we're happy having our sons blow themselves up, burying them one chunk at a time? No, but until there is total peace enforced in this land, we--Oprah:
Total peace. Right on! Now you KNOW I've always been for peace -- why I was just visualizing it this morning. You two, along with Mariam and a few other courageous women, are trying to take the lead in educating other mothers to your vision of peace, spreading the good word if you will, isn't that right? Tell us a little about that.Wafa:
We just help prepare mothers for the fact that it takes sacrifice to achieve total--Fatima:
Total peace. It's not enough just to visualize it. Sure you can sit around all day cashing UN aid checks and seething about the Israelis' Nazi apartheid practices against innocent Palestinian women and babies and handicapped holy men, or you can educate your children to do something about it. And that takes sacrifice.Oprah:
I hear you. Hey, I grew up poor. I know sacrifice, believe me. But no pain no gain! And I know apartheid -- even did a tour of South Africa . You just have to stand up. The power of positive thought. I've been there and it's not easy. Whether you're just looking to lose those last few pounds so you can squeeze into that special dress for the Oscars, or trying to bring peace to your people, that same sense of sacrifice is where it's at. Thank you for sharing your remarkable spiritual journey with us.Fatima and Wafa:
Thank you Oprah.Oprah:
And now, before we sign off today, we want to bring a little bit of our "Wildest Dreams" joy here to Palestine. About an hour ago, I sent John, our producer, out with a camera to find someone who looked like they could really benefit from having their wildest dreams come true. Well John's back and he's found his man. Let's take a look.[cue video: older teen running from a border crossing in a heavy winter jacket, he tries to get into a car, producer approaches and speaks with driver and teen, teen and driver nod, producer climbs in and the camera follows behind the short trip back to the studio in a second vehicle.]
Oprah:
And they're here now. John found Mustafa outside a border crossing after he was refused crossing to Israel, and helped him out before the soldiers could chase him down. Now please, give a warm Jenin welcome to... MuSTAFAHHHHH![crowd cheers and ululates as Mustafa walks out]
Oprah:
Come, sit here next to me Mustafa. No? Ok, you can sit over there, that's fine. John told us on the phone that you speak English?Mustafa:
Yes...I think so, thank you very much. Enough. My... uncle... can help too.Oprah:
Well, let's bring your uncle out here too, then! C'mon out here![Man in his thirties, well dressed, reluctantly nudged out on stage. Smiles and waves to applause and sits next to Mustafa.]
Oprah:
Mustafa, why don't you take off your coat? You're sweating like you just spent a weekend in a Native American sweat lodge -- a remarkably uplifting experience I'll never forget, but one I wouldn't recommend under these stage lights.["Uncle" whispers to Mustafa.]
Mustafa:
[shakes head] No. No.Oprah:
It's just that all that sweat really doesn't look good under the lights. Well, Mustafa, did they tell you why you're here? Do you know what my "Wildest Dream" segment is?Mustafa:
Who are you?Oprah:
Ha ha ha ha! Such a sense of humor! So seriously, Mustafa, this is where I, a poor little girl who grew up in poverty, much like yourself, has a chance to help you. Mustafa. What is your Greatest Dream?[Mustafa laughs nervously, looks at Uncle and talks to him quietly]
Uncle:
He is shy, doesn't want to say it loud, can he whisper it to you?Oprah:
Well sure, as long as I can hear it, I can buy it. [leans in] Go ahead Mustafa, what is it?Mustafa:
[whisper whisper whisper]Oprah:
Uh. Mustafa, I can't do that. No, sorry, something else.Mustafa:
[whisper whisper whisper]Oprah:
Quit kidding around Mustafa. If I couldn't do the first one, then I'm sure as hell not doing THAT![Mustafa looks to Uncle]
Uncle:
I think what Mustafa means, and is just having trouble... expressing...is his heartfelt desire to deliver a... a gift... to the Israeli leadership. He was unable to pass the Gestapo border guards today to deliver it himself, but perhaps a personage of your great fame and respect would be kind enough to deliver it herself?Oprah:
Oh my! Well isn't this a surprising development! You want me to deliver a present? A peace offering between two cultures. Oh, of course, this is priceless. And rest assured, I'll bring along the cameras and make sure I deliver it in person! Where is the gift? It's not a car or something heavy or inconvenient is it?Uncle:
Give us a moment, I will take Mustafa to the bathroom -- he is shy about these things -- and ask him where he put it. Please, one moment.[Uncle and Mustafa disappear backstage as we fade to commercial break]
[fade in, Oprah on couch]
Oprah:
Ok, while we wait for Mustafa's peace gift that I'll be delivering to the Israeli government, let me tell you that tomorrow, we'll be interviewing award winning Palestinian poet Aba Makir about his poetry for peace. And we'll obviously have a video update wtih more on my trip to the Knesset helping make Mustafa's wildest dreams of peace come true, a peace offering to the Israelis. Tune in won't you? Here they come now.[Mustafa returns with his jacket off, Uncle carrying a brown paper-wrapped package the size of a loaf of bread, wrapped tight in string].
Uncle:
Here is our gift. It is a most special gift and should be opened only by... oh... say a cabinet meeting, or a Knesset session.Oprah:
Ooooh, I like the sound of that. It'll make great video. Ooof this thing is heavy. What's in it?Uncle:
Perhaps we can wait and not tell you yet so everyone can share the surprise when you show your special video? Everyone will find out tomorrow. Oh, and please don't let them x-ray it, that would ruin it. Film or something like that, you know.Oprah:
Don't worry, no one is going to x-ray Oprah's olive branch offering between two peoples -- Mustafa's wildest dream! Mustafa, I'm sorry, that's all the time we have today. Thank you so much for being here, and thank you all for watching. Be sure to tune in tomorrow! Bye!Oprah's Jenin Week (best read in order)
Day 1: Mothers
Day 2: Poet
Day 3: Go Girl
Day 4: Snitch
Day 5: Massacre
Epilogue: Exposed
Linked with thanks to Right Wing Nation, Blue Star Chronicles, Mark My Words and Third World County.
Technorati Tags: parody, oprah, hamas, suicide bombers, israel, jenin
