Friday, May 27, 2005
- No fake beheadings
- Female guards to wear burka
- It's called the Holy Koran
- No spinning blindfolded prisoners around before prayertime and pointing them at D.C instead of Mecca
- It is improper for an Arabic-speaking guard to enter a room with two or more prisoners without first announcing his understanding, especially if the conversation is about good flight schools or the number of security cameras at the White House.
- Definition of torture includes hanging an Israeli flag or a poster of Paris Hilton in full view of a prisoner
- The television must pick up AlJazeera, and the BBC, not Playboy After Dark and Fox News Channel.
- If during security checks a prisoner announces he has a Koran in that pillow case, it is a human rights violation to inspect it, no matter what the bomb-sniffing dog thinks.
- When prisoners extol the virtues of Allah, it is blashphemous for the guard not to at least feign interest
- "Priest, Rabbi and a Mullah" jokes are grossly insensitive, implying the Mullah would fraternize with a Zionist and his Papist lapdog.
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