Friday, June 03, 2005
Top 10 Social Security Solutions
Since George W. Stalin has been floundering in his attempts to find a solution for the Social Security problem that will satisfy the Democrats, I thought I would step in and suggest a few fresh ideas the Democrats might find more acceptable.
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If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more:
- Nationalize the fast food industry. All employees to be 67 or older, with any profits going straight into the lock box.
- Impeach the Chimp-in-Chief.
- Legislate socialized medicine, free health care and drugs on demand for all retirees -- the chimp and his chums can worry about their own problems, like how to pay for everything.
- Everyone making more than twice the average wage, that is, the uncaring rich: to the gulag baby! Those confiscated assets will pay for a lot of dentures and Lipitor.
- Index the length of the calendar year to the cost of living. This will drive everyone's age down, thus fixing the problem without reducing benefits or raising taxes.
- Think: what would Che do?
- Since the existing Ponzi scheme of "borrowing" from our children isn't going to work forever, start borrowing from our grandchildren.
- Every retiring worker receives one way to ticket to France and its cushy social safety net, effectively subcontracting the job.
- Wish harder.
- Get rid of Israel. There hasn't been a problem yet that couldn't be solved with less Israel.
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