Friday, August 12, 2005

Top 10 Signs I'm Not Getting Any Younger 

  1. I was never a great leaper in basketball, but it's gotten to the point where I can reach higher just by standing up straight than by actually jumping.
  2. I can't listen to my Metallica at full volume anymore for fear I'll pull a neck muscle.
  3. I've started feeling pain in body parts that only have names in Yiddish.
  4. Unlike kids these days, I actually know when the Good Old Days were.
  5. I have more doctors than hobbies.
  6. I visit my doctors more often than my barber.
  7. My energy level just isn't what it used to be, but I can't tell whether this means I should increase or decrease my Diet Coke intake.
  8. I've come to realize that those signs on the side of the highway refer to maximum speed.
  9. My eyebrows are getting bushier than a Kennebunkport family reunion.
  10. All that notwithstanding, I've still got my health. Or at least I've still got my teeth.

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