Friday, August 12, 2005
Top 10 Signs I'm Not Getting Any Younger
- I was never a great leaper in basketball, but it's gotten to the point where I can reach higher just by standing up straight than by actually jumping.
- I can't listen to my Metallica at full volume anymore for fear I'll pull a neck muscle.
- I've started feeling pain in body parts that only have names in Yiddish.
- Unlike kids these days, I actually know when the Good Old Days were.
- I have more doctors than hobbies.
- I visit my doctors more often than my barber.
- My energy level just isn't what it used to be, but I can't tell whether this means I should increase or decrease my Diet Coke intake.
- I've come to realize that those signs on the side of the highway refer to maximum speed.
- My eyebrows are getting bushier than a Kennebunkport family reunion.
- All that notwithstanding, I've still got my health. Or at least I've still got my teeth.
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