Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Top 10 Myths Busted By Ahmadinejad 

A sneak peak at some of the startling scholarly revelations Ahmadinejad plans to unveil at his upcoming myth-busting conference:

  1. Hitler did not invent the idea of killing all the Jews, many people have thought of doing this. But even if someone did, say, get in a lucky shot and kill six million with one device, it's not like that would be justification for anything.
  2. The Jewish denial that they use the blood of young Muslims in their matzah -- what we call the blood-libel-libel -- is a patent lie. Like they would have us believe they use their own blood? Do they think we are stupid?
  3. Contrary to what the Zionists rewriting of the history books would have you believe, Israel wasn't even a country before 1967. The land has been Palestinian since before the so-called Big Bang and was stolen from innocent Arab shepherds in a sneak attack.
  4. There was no Holy Temple in Jerusalem. Jews heard stories from Pat Robertson about Jesus having been in Jerusalem for some reason or other, and inflated the whole idea into this Holy Temple thing they keep babbling about.
  5. The so-called Jews would also have you believe that they won the Yom Kippur War -- untrue. And it wasn't even held on Yom Kippur, they just say that because of some wierd sort of Ramadan envy.
  6. No Jews have been killed by "terror", this is a lie. The Zionist entity runs buses loaded with nothing but Jewish-looking mannequins to entice innocent young martyrs into blowing themselves up!
  7. And of course Einstein, the alleged Jew, didn't really invent relativity -- it was invented by Ibn Babbibben, a 12th century Islamic philosopher. And Einstein's father was actually Palestinian.
  8. The Jews try to claim an ancestral connection to this land, going back to an alleged real estate purchase by Abraham -- but can they ever produce a receipt?
  9. Bagels and lox is not the innocent Jewish snack that Zionists would have you believe but, in actuality, a vile anti-semitic symbol -- anti-semitic because the Jews are not Semites, we are. It is a symbol for the oppression of Muslims. The bagel, with it's holy center, represents the poor Muslim, and then the Jews just pile it on. Lox, cream cheese, tomatoes, onions, all of it symbolically attempting to weigh down and hide the bagel. So long as Jews insist on eating bagels and lox there can be no peace.
  10. Judaism isn't even a religion. It is just a tax dodging scheme invented by two accountants named Morty and Shlomo over pastrami sandwiches at a Brooklyn deli sometime in the mid 1960s.
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