Saturday, May 28, 2005

Top 10 Reasons Bush Threw Wads of Cash at Abbas 

You might be wondering why President Bush not only met with P.A. President Abbas, but also greased his palm with 50 million smackers. Trust me, he had good reasons:
  1. Because his Zionest puppetmasters told him to
  2. Abbas showed him a killer proposal to turn the Palestinian capital into Ramally-wood, recruiting Iraq's decapitation cinematographers as the nucleus of a nascent film industry. The first few films will be in the action and documentary genres, crowd-pleasing, money-making gore-fests, and should earn Bush a quick return, as well as the executive producer credits and cameo he craves.
  3. Wanted to spot Abbas for a clean suit and teeth whitening treatments to take care of the nicotine stains ahead of filming campaign spots for upcoming Palestinian elections.
  4. Astonished to learn he'd promised 50 milion rather than 500 thousand, Bush vowed to do all paperwork wearing his reading glasses from now on.
  5. After not getting past first base with Crown Prince Abdullah, this time the President is covering all the bases.
  6. Abbas presented Bush with the official bill covering costs of parking tickets, late-payment penalties and interest for ex-President Clinton's motorcade on his last visit. Bush announced the payment as aid to avoid publicly embarrassing his new buddy.
  7. Bush, never one to welch on a bet, was down for 50 million with Abbas on the Houston Rockets as NBA champs.
  8. Hey, if Saddam managed to buy so much foreign support with a little cash, Bush is willing to give it a try
  9. Abbas told him that Putin gave him 40
  10. Unless you're willing to blow yourself up, that's the going rate for getting a plaza in Ramallah named after you.

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