Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Here a few sample questions from the satirical Political Beliefs Assessment Test:
The test is open book and no time limit, which is good because there are a lot of beliefs to assess in there.
1: Government's practice of stealing from the rich to give to the poor is...
CONS: a crime.
LIBL: a brave, generous and heroic deed.
LBRT: a foolish, misguided attempt at social engineering.
COMM: an inspiration to us all.
7: The Center for Public-Health Dietary Self Control releases a study that says eating just one jelly donut is as harmful to human health as smoking 10,000,000 cartons of cigarettes. Do you...
CONS: keep eating jelly donuts.
LIBL: demand that jelly donuts be removed from vending machines, and public school cafeterias.
LBRT: hoard jelly donuts before they are regulated off grocer's shelves.
COMM: hoard jelly donuts so you can sell them on the black market.
10: What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
CONS: If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
LIBL: Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
LBRT: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can leave.
COMM: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can be made an example of.
20: What's the best way to stop people from illegally crossing our borders?
CONS: Seal the borders so no one can get in.
LIBL: Do nothing to beef up security at the borders, and offer illegal aliens a wide array of free services.
LBRT: Allow unrestricted passage across the borders.
COMM: Seal the borders so no one can get out.
21: How would you define the word "profit"?
CONS: What business owners earn by selling a quality product at a competitive price.
LIBL: What business owners RIP-OFF from their customers.
LBRT: What business owners are rewarded with for risking the loss of their own money.
COMM: What business owners RIP-OFF from their employees.
A few more amusing posts that are worthy of attention:
Meryl Yourish has the story of how the Palestinian Foreign Minister from the "anti-Corruption Party" (Hamas) just happened to have $450,000 stolen from his Kuwait hotel room. Oops. I'm sure that used to happen to Arafat all the time. No big deal.
Soccer Dad notices that Palestinian PM Haniyeh is rolling out quite a nice spread for cabinet meeting refreshment breaks, considering how broke the Hamas-led PA is telling the world they are. Soccer Dad also notes the telling photographic juxtaposition of Haniyeh's jovial catering next to Israeli funerals.
Pillage Idiot has the fake-but-accurate version of a Dan Rather interview with CIA leaker Mary McCarthy.
Chainik Hocker has a giant scoop of Anarchy Ice Cream.
Just when you thought the Seder was over, Daled Amos has the story of how he found Bin Laden's horseradish tree.
The Elder of Ziyon exposes Palestinian Camouflauge training. I suppose it works great against color blind enemies.