Friday, May 27, 2005

Top 10 Amnesty International Recommendations 

The recent Amnesty International report condemning US human rights violations included a number of demands for improvements in how prisoners are treated at the Guantanamo facility:
  1. No fake beheadings
  2. Female guards to wear burka
  3. It's called the Holy Koran
  4. No spinning blindfolded prisoners around before prayertime and pointing them at D.C instead of Mecca
  5. It is improper for an Arabic-speaking guard to enter a room with two or more prisoners without first announcing his understanding, especially if the conversation is about good flight schools or the number of security cameras at the White House.
  6. Definition of torture includes hanging an Israeli flag or a poster of Paris Hilton in full view of a prisoner
  7. The television must pick up AlJazeera, and the BBC, not Playboy After Dark and Fox News Channel.
  8. If during security checks a prisoner announces he has a Koran in that pillow case, it is a human rights violation to inspect it, no matter what the bomb-sniffing dog thinks.
  9. When prisoners extol the virtues of Allah, it is blashphemous for the guard not to at least feign interest
  10. "Priest, Rabbi and a Mullah" jokes are grossly insensitive, implying the Mullah would fraternize with a Zionist and his Papist lapdog.

Technorati Tags: , , ,

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: