Friday, June 17, 2005

Ten things you should know about cats 

My list of...

Top Ten reasons to teach your kids that cats are the by-product of failed experiments in the cross-breeding of rats and ferrets:

  1. Have you ever experienced the pleasure of a wet hair-ball squishing between your toes?
  2. Cats are hungry. Betcha can't feed just one.
  3. A litter box will invariably end up smellifying a room in which you used to enjoy spending quality time.
  4. The little varmints just won't leave you alone, even when you're trying to read, purring and rubbing their little heads against you, demanding you pet them. Worse, they won't let you stop!
  5. However many you end up feeding, those cats will attempt to bring their friends, who encamp around your house, yeowling enviously and fighting furiously over who is next in the adoption queue.
  6. Have you seen the price of feline antibiotics lately?
  7. Have you ever tried getting a stubborn cat to swallow those antibiotics?
  8. Stepping barefoot on bits of dry cat food and kitty litter hurts a lot more than you might expect.
  9. It's very hard to sleep when a cat, having decided it wants in at two in the morning, scales the side of your house and hangs by its claws from your 2nd floor bedroom window screen, yodeling and rattling the shutters.
  10. Cats pretty much invented Halitosis, or at least perfected it as an artform.

By the way, Sumi had her two kittens and they're up now and running all over the place outside. Ginger is also doing better and spends a lot of her time sleeping in my favorite chair. I guess I can find another place to sit.
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