Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Let Jimmy Carter Babysit For You
Some Important Reasons Why Jimmy Carter Should Babysit For You
-- From the Carter Center for Decency in BabySitting
If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more:
-- From the Carter Center for Decency in BabySitting
- His compassionate work with some of the world's leading tyrants leaves him well-equipped to deal with your "terrible two". Some sample techniques:
- "My what a talented screamer you are!"
- "Is five enough lollipops?"
- "Have you ever spanked an ex-President?"
- "My what a talented screamer you are!"
- Your kids took a vote and, in a close race supervised by Jimmy himself, they picked him as their new babysitter. We know you didn't ask for his help, but he thought it was important.
- He is a Nobel Prize winner, how many parents have a Nobel Prize winner babysitting for them?
- The lust thing was only in his heart.
- You won't come home to children all riled up from arguing with the babysitter about that 8pm bedtime, as Jimmy's negotiating skills will have helped everyone mutually agree on an 8:30pm compromise. Of course, the kids will likely still be awake at 11:30pm, but that should allow you quality time to get in that last nurturing hug.
- His Nobel Prize was for seeking peaceful methods to solve conflict, not warmongering like some presidents, and that's got to be good for kids, right?
- He's full of great stories that kids love:
- He can tell your kids about the little green men.
- The story of how he fought off the giant killer rabbit with nothing but a boat oar and bravery is always a favorite.
- The amazing tale of his trip to Africa to battle worms
- He can tell your kids about the little green men.
- As a trained nuclear engineer, he will be able to recognize any early signs of radiation sickness in your kids, should they develop while he's on duty -- peace of mind few babysitters can offer.
- Did we mention the Nobel Prize?
- He'll work for peanuts.
