Wednesday, July 13, 2005
This perfectly executed "pretzel technique" translates roughly to: "We condemn the attack, but you deserved it, and if you don't obey us there's plenty more where that came from." Here's a quick breakdown for those of you who are new to the pretzel technique:
'Hamas condemns the bombings that took place in London and that resulted in hundreds of innocent casualties,' said a statement issued by Hamas leaders in the Gaza Strip. Like many Palestinians, Hamas blamed Israel's practices in the West Bank and Gaza Strip and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan for the terrorist attacks against US and European countries.
'We in Hamas call on the international community to stop all forms of occupation and aggression against the Arabs and Muslims, especially in Palestine, Iraq and Iraq [sic],' said the statement. 'The continuation of the occupation and aggression will lead to more tensions, hatred and bomb blasts.'
- Identify any event to condemn, preferably one that will get you lots of press attention
- Assert it only happened as a result of your cause not being taken up. Be very specific about your objectives and gloss over the details of the condemnation if it will detract from your main message.
- Close the pretzel by threatening more of what you just condemned if you don't get your way.
- Hat 1: An event to be condemned or complained about (genocide in Darfur, a recent tax increase, cancellation of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', etc.)
- Hat 2: Your cause (vegetarianism, debt relief for the third world, unscented toilet paper in public bathrooms, etc.)
Just be careful if you're ever at a party and invited to play a round with any Hamas P.R. flacks. They're very, very good.
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