Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Hamas and the Pretzel Technique 

I've always wondered what a Hamas condemnation of suicide bombing would look like:

'Hamas condemns the bombings that took place in London and that resulted in hundreds of innocent casualties,' said a statement issued by Hamas leaders in the Gaza Strip. Like many Palestinians, Hamas blamed Israel's practices in the West Bank and Gaza Strip and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan for the terrorist attacks against US and European countries.

'We in Hamas call on the international community to stop all forms of occupation and aggression against the Arabs and Muslims, especially in Palestine, Iraq and Iraq [sic],' said the statement. 'The continuation of the occupation and aggression will lead to more tensions, hatred and bomb blasts.'
This perfectly executed "pretzel technique" translates roughly to: "We condemn the attack, but you deserved it, and if you don't obey us there's plenty more where that came from." Here's a quick breakdown for those of you who are new to the pretzel technique:
It would make a fun party game. You have two hats and everyone contributes a slip of paper into each:
Players in their turn draw a slip of paper from each hat and compete to deliver the most rousing and convincing condemnation/threat.

Just be careful if you're ever at a party and invited to play a round with any Hamas P.R. flacks. They're very, very good.
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