Tuesday, July 19, 2005

What's all this fuss I hear about ... 

News Anchor: And now here to say a few words about the latest sensation that's lining up kids and grownups alike at the bookstores and keeping them awake late at night, Miss Emily Litella

Emily: "So what's all this fuss I hear about a Hairy Plotter? It's like, every day somebody different: shoe bombers, head choppers, and now...hairy plotters! What the dickens is going on here?"

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, a hairy plotter, at the time of his capture
Emily: "Why this is terrible! First everyone's lining up at the bookstores, and now it's the airport too. Lines everywhere! And what with all these code oranges and terror watches, who can even tell when to panic anymore? Why I was just at the airport the other day, and I was telling the young man not to take my clippers because I hadn't done my toenails in ages and he..."

News Anchor: "Emily..."

Emily: "Just a minute. So I hadn't done my toenails, and I'm telling him he shouldn't even be checking me since I'm not one of those..."

News Anchor: "Emily! It's not 'Hairy Plotter'. It's 'Harry Potter'. Boy wizard. From the book..."

Emily: "Oh. That's very different. Never mind."

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: