Thursday, May 04, 2006

Carnival of Comedy #53 

I'd like to welcome everyone to the 53rd edition of the Carnival of Comedy (yes, you should clap now, even if you are at work).

As you have probably noticed from your overstuffed inbox, a bit of funny stuff can spread on the web faster than the most virulent of viruses. So, in the interest of preserving the mental health of Carnival of Comedy readers, we devote this issue to a discussion of some of the viral symptoms one can expect from exposure to the Carnival's funny stuff.

Ebola: These posts are so toxically funny they'll leave your eyeballs bleeding, and will result in terminal laughter in most readers.

Symptoms are varied and often appear suddenly. Initial symptoms include: high fever (at least 38.8° C, 101° F), severe headache, muscle/joint/abdominal pain, severe weakness and exhaustion, sore throat, nausea, and dizziness.

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face illustrates the kind of questioningTony Snow had better be prepared for in his new job as White House Press Secretary.

The secondary symptoms often involve bleeding both internally and externally from any opening in the body: Dark or bloody stools and diarrhea, vomiting blood, red eyes from swollen blood vessels, red spots on the skin from subcutaneous bleeding, and bleeding from the nose, mouth, rectum, genitals and needle puncture sites.

Jon Swift administers a swift kick in the rear to more than a few ineffectual government agencies with his post, A Government Agency By Any Other Name

Other secondary symptoms include low blood pressure (less than 90mm Hg) and a fast but weak pulse, eventual organ damage including the kidney and liver by co-localized necrosis, and proteinuria (the presence of proteins in urine).

Tommy at Striving For Average lines up the usual talking heads to bring us details of The May Day Protests.

The span of time from onset of symptoms to death (from shock due to blood loss or organ failure) is usually between 7 and 14 days.

Peace Moonbeam would have no trouble selling a used car to the Amish, so convincing us to read the eco-sensitive saga Free Gas should be no problem at all.

Pneumonia: These posts can cause inflammation of the lungs characterized by fever, chills, muscle stiffness, chest pain, cough, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate and difficulty breathing -- that is, acute laughter.

Soccer Dad shows us a few awkward moments in a police station in kuwait, and it doesn't even involve what was hidden inside that cute little ceramic camel in his luggage that he was bringing back for Aunt Whatsername.

Tektak F. Mechanoid fills in for Remulak MoxArgon who is busy this week getting high off Michelle Malkin's Hot Air.

Ferdinand T. Cat, the Conservative Cat, shows that even if Iran can't kill us with nuclear weapons, they still might take us down with irony alone.

Damian G. at Conservathink presents his humorous take on the immigration issue, Doing the Blogging Americans Won't Do. At least I hope it's humorous.

Vox Poplar enlists some damned dirty apes from our distant future to discuss Spain's crazy new "human rights" initiative: Monkey Business Indeed!

FIAR at Radioactive Liberty explains how you can tell if a War for Oil is a War for You?

Suldog-O-Rama reminds us with his slightly lengthy treatise Dinosaurs, Living Room Basketball, And The Pre-History Of Television that it's more fun to read about test patterns than to watch them.

Wild Bill reassures us, "Nothing to worry about, let's make lemonade. before further gracing us with his dulcet pipes in a little ditty about Cynthia McKinney. (Profanity)

Chris Carlisle at The Dimmer Switch finds that the task of mowing his lawn is best dealt with the same way I handle watching my kids when I'd rather take my wife to the movies -- and no, it doesn't involve letting four year olds play with the lawnmower. (Hint: it involves older neighborhood kids and a little cash).

Jenee has a few ideas to improve the game of Monopoly, or at least to make the old Depression-era game a little funnier when you have to pay the Poor Tax with accumulated interest.

The Evil Emperor Mindstation at Point Five presents Excelsior! (Higher) Part 1, in which his Majestic Imperiousity unveils his latest technological masterpiece (cue the "evil laughter soundtrack" as you go to read).

Big Picture Guy at Big Picture, Small Office presents Spic and Spam, a story of stupidity that is actually believable just because it is so stupid.

Gavin Purcell at TV in Japan presents Penguins Sell Super Hard Hair Gel. Hey, I couldn't even get my speakers to work on the video and it still gave me a chuckle.

Miriam at miriam's ideas presents Kvetcher nation, not that she's complaining...just noticing is all.

Viral Video Blog has links to a few Viral Videos: Bush Meets Bush, Stop the Madness & Darth Vader.

Flea Allergy Dermatitis: Some posts can cause an inflammatory reaction and self-trauma due to a hypersensitivity to flea saliva.

Michael McCullough at Stingray: a blog for salty Christians has a lethal dose of Shatner.

fmragtops has the honor of introducing us to Dan Rather's Blog (A PGHA).

Big Cajun Man delivers a knee to the package with Taxes: Revenue Canada Wants You!

Pardon Centrerion's French as he makes a point about Saint Jean Charest's Educational Reforms.

The People's Republic of Seabrook's expose of the Bush Administration's hiring of Tony Snow as Press Secretary, Consummating the relationship, would be funny if it...well, if it were actually funny.

Jerry Dante establishes his bad-boy comic credentials. (Profanity)

Upcoming Hosts:

54- Dr Phat Tony
55- fmragtops
56- Passionate America
57- The MoxArgon Group
58- Jerry Dante [language]

Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Carnival of Comedy using our carnival submission form.
Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

If you find yourself in need of a quick mid-week hit of Teh Funny™, and just can't wait for that next carnival, be sure to check out IMAO. And if you like listening to Teh Funny™ as much as reading it, check out IMAOPodcast.com.

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