Wednesday, May 03, 2006

How to Extract Concessions Without Even Negotiating 


Hamas is ready to consider a 2002 Arab League peace plan - which calls for recognition of Israel and a return to pre-1967 war borders - but only if Israel accepts the proposal first, a senior Hamas official said Tuesday.
Wow, Hamas wants to have its cake and blow it up too. Neat trick. Here's how it works:

Hamas wants something from Israel. Israel needs to give less than the 100% many in the world encourage them to give, if nothing else to establish that there should be a disincentive for continuing to attack Israel in wars of annihilation, over and over again. Hamas says they will consider 90% if Israel agrees to it first.

Israel agrees to 90%. Hamas says, "Cruel Zionists refuse to give us all of what is ours, which we will never surrender and never negotiate, but if they will agree to 99% in advance, we will consider it."

Israel, eager to let the world know they are a reasonable party, agrees even to 99%, thinking that world pressure must surely now fall on Hamas to agree as well. Hamas again announces, "Cruel Zionists refuse AGAIN to give us all of what we are entitled to by right. If they do not agree immediately to 99.5% we will consider this a war crime."

Israel, perhaps realizing the game now, says no, and that they no longer agree to anything, and if Hamas wants to talk they should lay down their arms and talk instead of fight. Hamas blows something up and calls on the world's diplomats to pressure Israel to honor its prior concessions. The world's diplomats express their disappointment with Zionist intransigence.

Israel caves and agrees to the 99.5%. Hamas announces that the only reason Israel agreed to even that -- which STILL withholds what they feel entitled to by various named and un-named international agreements and human rights -- is because of the bombing, so they send more bombers, but announce if Israel will agree to 99.9%, then the bombers will stop coming for a month and Hamas will consider the situation further.

Israel, thinking quickly, attempts to forestall any more conflict, seeking a final peace by leapfrogging the 99.9% offer and going straight to the full 100%. Hamas declares a victory over evil Zionism, bragging of the capitulation they have extracted, and that since Israel clearly only understands the language of force, they blow up two more targets and announce that only if Israel agrees immediately to 110% will the bombings stop for 2 days to give Hamas time to consider the offer.

Rinse and repeat until Israel no longer exists, the world decides to legislate it out of existence, or Iran completes its nuclearizing.

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: