Monday, October 31, 2005

How AbbaGav Learned Hebrew 

Now that I've lived in Israel long enough to have forgotten where the turn signal in an automobile is located, I thought it might be worthwhile to share with you some of the tips and tricks I've used in picking up my vast and comprehensive smattering of the local language. So I've compiled a pie chart showing the breakdown of all my sources of modern Hebrew knowledge.

Please note: the pie is not drawn to scale. In reality, it and my entire knowledge of Hebrew would fit inside a pie this big:


But as any Israeli economist will tell you -- at least an economist associated with the government -- it's not the size of the pie, but how you slice it, and how well you lick the knife clean after each slice.

On that note, here's my Hebrew pie.
Now let's carve up that pie a little and take a look at the various sources I've used to reach this level of what I like to call Hebrew fluency. Starting with the most helpful sources of day-to-day Hebrew in my life, and working down from there:IMPORTANT LEGAL NOTICE: Kids, please don't try this at home. These advanced techniques were performed by a highly skilled, unpaid professional. If you are trying to pick up Hebrew, please follow more pedestrian but proven guidelines. I personally would recommend you start with being born here in Israel -- if you aren't sure how to implement that technique, have a brief chat with your parents, they should be able to help.

Until next time, Shalom, Mazel Tov and Hasta La Vista from Israel.

Technorati Tags: , , ,

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: