Tuesday, January 17, 2006

HDate -- The Exciting New Hamas Singles Site 

Admit it. It's not easy for today's young Hamas singles. Who has the time to meet that special someone while still giving your heart and soul and blood to the Jihad?

Fortunately, HDate is here to help!

Welcome to HDate, the premier Hamas singles cell on the web. You won't find a site anywhere that matches more eager young virgins and aspiring Shahids -- at least not this side of Paradise!

As the modern alternative to traditional arranged marriages between complete strangers, HDate is the perfect place for young, active, militant Hamas men and women to wage their Jihad for love. And HDate's explosive growth almost guarantees you'll find that perfect someone. Our extensive listings, including attractive pictures and important details about each young single, help you quickly zoom in and target the match of your dreams. Simply create a profile and we'll have hordes of desireable HDate members beating down your door quicker than a Mossad hit squad.

Take a sample peek at some of the quality singles you're likely to meet when you join HDate:

Women Seeking Men...
Marital Status: Virgin
Interests: Jihad, Islam, Raising sons, Underwater Burqa Weaving
Turnoffs: Infidels, Kippas, Men who can't share their feelings
Marital Status: Non-Virgin (still under appeal)
Interests: Jihad, Islam, Raising sons, Handing out sweets
Turnoffs: Non-Believers, Hebrew in bed, Men who shave
Marital Status: Virgin
Interests: Jihad, Islam, Raising sons, Staying Indoors
Turnoffs: Kosher food, Men who leave the seat up, Being allowed to drive
Marital Status: Virgin
Interests: Jihad, Islam, Raising sons, Cheerleading
Turnoffs: Unloaded weapons, Long fuses, Informers
Men Seeking Women...
Marital Status: Virile
Interests: Jihad, Islam, Explosives, First Aid
Turnoffs: Girls who don't shave, Weepy goodbyes
Marital Status: Virile
Interests: Jihad, Islam, Automatic Weapons, Oprah
Turnoffs: Non-Smokers, Fatah girls
And, we at HDate are painfully aware of difficulties related to certain -- shall we say -- "demographic disadvantages" inherent in the execution of our ideology. However, in light of this issue, we address the problem with an extra section:
Marital Status: Virgins
Interests: Jihad, Islam, Exploring
Turnoffs: Lonely nights with no one to hold

So sign up for HDate today. It's the next best thing to blowing yourself up!

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