Saturday, July 23, 2005

Top Ten Dates in My Blog's History 

November 2003: Curious what this "B" button is on my new Google toolbar, I click it and then naively fill in all the resulting forms, becoming the proud, clueless owner of a new blog -- whatever that is. Unsure of the ominous looking publish button, I dismiss the page leaving my new blog empty.

Dec 31, 2004: Over a year later, I tie the record, shared by many, for fewest blog posts in a calendar year with 0. Oddly enough, I fail to recognize the opportunity to blog this amazing achievement.

Feb 15, 2005: I am possessed by the sudden urge to share the first official opinion of my entire life. The purity of my hitherto empty blog has yet to recover.

Feb 27: My nascent blog and its two initial posts receives its first link. I immediately email my brother to thank him.

Mar 28: Suddenly overwhelmed by my ego's need to monitor the masses as they flock to my blog, I install my first StatCounter.

Mar 29: I resist the urge to complain to StatCounter tech support that their stupid counter doesn't work, and instead just thank my brother for visiting.

Apr 3: My first of many top ten lists, a cheap gimmick I fall back on whenever the cupboard is bare. Of course, this one here is different.

Apr 4: I notice my first returning visitor, someone who read my blog and still came back again. By the way, check out his blog, it's really good.

Apr 19 [approx]: Noticed my first blog-roll link from a non-family member. It's an ominous sign of the creeping addiction that I know how to find this out.

Apr 20: I finally appear in Google's cache. Something I'd done to offend the Google-gods had kept their spidery-minions from finding my site until this point. Are they truly so omniscient they could tell my links had only been from family members until recently?

May 22: My first discovery of the power of Little-Green-Coattails to give a temporary boost to readership with one well-placed comment. Soon followed by the internal conflict over whether such comments are anything more than Little-Green-Spam.

Jul 17: I finally make the big time. After laboring in the obscurity of a page rank of zero for all these months, I finally got page rank! And I didn't even do any Google suck-up posts to get it. I wonder if I can get that ranking any higher than 4/10? Google! Google! Google! (You never know, it's worth a try).

Jul 20: While I have yet to receive my first Instalanche, I did get my first Dov-alanche. Not a big deal to many bloggers, but its the first big-traffic day for my site that I didn't have to spam someone to get. Ah, dignity!

Thanks to everyone with the fortitude to wade all the way through this self-absorbed post. And special props to those who can count to thirteen. I meant to stop at ten, really.

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: