Sunday, September 25, 2005

When Cadillac Enters Rehab 

Please pardon me for yet another rambling, pointless post, but although I've returned home, I haven't really returned to my blogging routine. Obviously I have excuses:
Actually, after having watched the game, maybe I should have missed it. I think my Packer cheese hat is starting to get a little moldy as my team is now 0-3 on the season. The only thing I really gained out of watching the game is the idea of poking a little fun at the nickname of the enemy Buccaneers' sensational new running back, Cadillac.

Yup, his name is Carnell 'Cadillac' Williams. I have to wonder, was there some sort of endorsement deal for him to carry that name as he entered the NFL? It's got to be worth something to a long-standing company like Cadillac to have young vibrant advertising symbols running around in front of millions every Sunday, stomping my beloved team into the not-yet-frozen tundra. Of course, they might just feel they're doing him a favor, letting him borrow their trademarked name -- lawyers, please feel free to fill my comments section explaining in detail how I'm wrong in every detail here. For instance, it's hard to imagine the car company remaining silent down the road when Cadillac (the running back) enters drug rehab and hires a lawyer to fight off allegations of this and/or that. Not that I'm alleging anything, I'm just playing the NFL probabilities.

The other thing you have to wonder is this: if you're going to take a commercial nickname when you have professional level athletic talent, why pick Cadillac? You might as well name yourself Caterpillar or Immodium. You would think a speedy guy would go for a name like Porsche or Lamborghini instead.

And frankly if I were blessed with his talent I would have named myself 'Microsoft'. Heck, Cadillac (the running back), if you're reading this, please drop me a line because I don't think it's too late for you to switch to my Microsoft nickname idea -- and you should drop me a line so you can get my bank details for my cut of the proceeds.

Sure, it's a little late, after already have played three games with your prototype nickname. But there's plenty of precedent for changing. Look at P-Whats-His-Name, the rapper. I'm pretty sure his mother gave him a perfectly marketable name when he was born (Sean something--useful for the clothing line). But he struck it big as "Puff Daddy", without the H.R. Puff'N'Stuff people raising so much as a peep. Then later, when he got too big for his britches, he changed it to P. Diddy -- just to show he could. And now, in a feat of marketing genius, he's shortened the P. Diddy to just Pee. No, no wait, sorry, that's Diddy, my mistake. But you can see that changing your name should never really be viewed as a show-stopper when you're chasing the cash.

So have fun Cadillac and enjoy your ride. And please, go easy on my Packers next time!

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: