Sunday, November 20, 2005

I Can See I've Gotta Eat More Burgers... 

...a lot more! Holy cow, this burger munching fool has stolen the abs that by all rights should have been mine:

Japan's Takeru Kobayashi, best known as the world champion speed hot dog eater, seen here in July 2005, devoured 67 mini hamburgers in eight minutes to win the World Hamburger Eating Championship.(AFP/Getty Images/File)
Of course I wasted all those years on half-measures, downing only two or three burgers at a sitting. And then finally disciplining myself to foolishly cut back on my consumption rather than pursuing the obvious answer: if something's not working, just try MORE of it. Why didn't I think of it? I'm pretty sure I could have choked down 67 of them, especially since they were actually just mini-burgers. I'm sure my abs would have thanked me.

Looking on the bright side though, I'm pretty sure with my metabolism I could kick his butt in Sumo School.

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: