Thursday, February 16, 2006
Patentable Palestinian Innovation: Reusable Bargaining Chips
While Western inventors still busy themselves with the quest for a better mousetrap, Palestinian leaders demonstrate they've already designed, built, tested and patented the perfect concession trap:
One last point about Fatah's famed recognition of Israel:
If it's a good thing to have your enemy underestimate you, then boy oh boy are we in luck. Honestly, how stupid do they think we are? We've already repeatedly extended our hands in peace, only to be rebuffed for not offering our necks instead.
That stuff only works so many times before you lose your head.
If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more:
Oh, I get it. If we bought their recognition once, then we'd probably be willing to buy it again -- a bargain at the price, I'm sure. A brilliant strategy. I wonder how many times they think they can resell the same pile of manure:
A senior Fatah official said Wednesday that the Palestinian militant movement Hamas does not need to recognize Israel immediately as a condition for forming a government, hinting it could use recognition as a bargaining chip in the future.
Israel:
What do you mean, "a bargaining chip in the future!?" You already recognized us -- in front of Bill Clinton no less -- AND made a big fuss over the whole thing to make sure pressure was put on us in exchange!Palestinians:
No, no, that was Fatah, a whole different branch of the org chart.Israel:
Really? Wow, that just wasn't clear before now, I'm glad you explained that. So we only purchased Fatah's recognition.Palestinians:
Well, yes, but we prefer the term "long term lease with early opt out."Israel:
Of course, of course. It's just words though. Now, however, we can work with Hamas to finalize this, to REALLY purchase complete and total recognition -- and that, my friend, is called progress.Palestinians:
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. It is true that we are currently accepting deposits to reserve a possible seat at a negotiating table in the distant future, at which you would be allowed to make a best and final offer, but don't expect more than that. And we want cash.Israel:
Cash. Ok, no problem. It will be worth it, to finally, someday down the road, have the chance, maybe, to have our legitimacy officially recognized by all Palestinians.Palestinians:
Whoa, slow down there. Who's talking about "all Palestinians"? If you want Hamas to recognize you, then start paying them and we'll see what happens. Can't promise anything more than that.Israel:
Wait, so even if we give more concessions -- gave up everything past the Green Line for instance -- that would only get us recognition from Hamas, to go along with the Fatah recognition we already have in our pocket?Palestinians:
Assuming that the Fatah recognition hasn't expired yet, yes.Israel:
So how do we get complete recognition from all Palestinians? Are you telling me it's impossible?Palestinians:
No, no, most assuredly not impossible, we are a peace-loving people. Once you've purchased a peace-style agreement with Hamas, then you wait for Islamic Jihad to enter the government. Then there is Hizbullah and Al Qaeda in the wings behind them. But you are a persistent people, are you not?Israel:
But, but, that's just stupid. We can't be expected to surrender more and more while never actually receiving what we're promised. Heck, at some point, we're going to run out of bargaining chips.Palestinians:
So long as you are alive and standing here talking to us, you always have at least one more bargaining chip.One last point about Fatah's famed recognition of Israel:
I know I'm missing something here, but how can Hamas recognize peace agreements with Israel, while not recognizing the Jewish State's right to exist that is written into those very documents? I'm starting to think the word "recognize" might not mean very much in the Middle East, at least when used in contexts outside of the recognition of various Palestinian rights.
But Jibril Rajoub - a top security aide to Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas - underlined that Fatah would not join a Hamas-led government unless it recognizes peace agreements with Israel and drops Muslim fundamentalist elements from its political program.
If it's a good thing to have your enemy underestimate you, then boy oh boy are we in luck. Honestly, how stupid do they think we are? We've already repeatedly extended our hands in peace, only to be rebuffed for not offering our necks instead.
That stuff only works so many times before you lose your head.
