Thursday, March 02, 2006

Top 10 Threats Facing Islamist Civilization 

Have you checked out Nomad's wide-ranging presentation of the greatest dangers facing today's Western world yet? His post inspired me to try to rise to the occasion, but unfortunately, I lack his stamina for serious analysis. So instead, I'll take the opportunity to demonstrate my ability to empathize with both sides of a conflict by presenting my own list of...

The Top Ten Threats Facing Islamist Civilization

  1. Cartoons
  2. Bad room service in Western jails and military prisons
  3. Jews -- Israelis, neo-Cons, Zionists, whatever you want to call them.
  4. Sports franchises and universities mocking Islam with their team nicknames: Philadelphia Faithful, Maryland Martyrs, Pittsburgh Prophets, Jacksonville Jumpin' Jihadis, etc.
  5. Western resistance to the acquisition of peaceful nuclear energy technology and long-range ballistic missiles.
  6. Unfettered research into fuel-efficient hybrid vehicles and innovative alternate energy sources.
  7. Freedom without oversight.
  8. Growing intermittent bottlenecks and interruptions in the semtex supply chain.
  9. Little Green Footballs
  10. Islamists' own wives and daughters -- so keep a tight lid on 'em, ok boys?

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: