Friday, June 16, 2006

Note to Ahmadinejad: It HAS Been Investigated 

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad apparently wants to have the Holocaust investigated:

'I think we have sufficiently talked about this matter and these Holocaust events need to be further investigated by independent and impartial parties,' Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said at a news conference on Friday following a meeting with China's president.
Earth to Mahmoud, Earth to Mahmoud, come in Mahmoud. Apparently you have been far away from our home planet lo these last 60 years and have not been in touch with the news, let alone reality. The Holocaust HAS been investigated. And reinvestigated. Then documented. Then the eye witness testimony has been collected -- not just from survivors, but from rescuers, participants, soldiers. I tell you this now so that should there ever be a day on which your space capsule eventually touches down on Earth, you won't embarrass yourself much further.

Unless of course this is all about your definition of "impartial." But even then, the only "impartial" panel you could assemble that would render the judgement you seek would be composed of, well, yourself, and perhaps David Irving and, oh let's see, maybe Louis Farrakhan, just to make sure the group is beyond criticism by including an American -- and even Farrakhan might disagree with you in his own vile way. The three of you can go ahead and have your "impartial investigation", preferably up on your space capsule heading as far into interstellar space as possible while doing so. And while you're up there, could you also do a little honest investigation into a few other controversial so-called historical facts? Like checking if the world is really round as so many blithely allege. After that, you might also look into this issue of the so-called vacuum. Maybe you could open the space capsule door and prove to all the conspirators that the universe truly is filled with oxygen everywhere, and that you can breathe in outer space just fine.

Meanwhile, the rest of us already have the results of impartial investigations. It's called historical fact. Only someone with an axe to grind and a neck he plans to use the axe on is going to be trying to call into question established historical fact at this point. Does that sound like you Mahmoud? Care to elaborate whose neck you're grinding your axe for?

'We want to know whether this crime really happened or not. If so, then those responsible should be punished and not the Palestinians ... If it didn't happen, then the Jews have to go back where they came from,' he was quoted as saying.
I see. So your drive for an impartial investigation is intended only to support your pre-existing agenda of getting the Jews off of their land -- a sort of heads we win, tails you lose proposition. My aren't you the clever one.

There is a little point you are misunderstanding here, Mahmoud. Jews do not live in Israel simply because of the "good fortune" of having had Adolf Hitler wipe out half their numbers while trying for the whole enchilada. Jews live in Israel because it is their home, and always has been, for a thousand years and more even before your magical mahdi jumped down the wishing well you so revere. Doubt it? Ask Christians, whose own faith springs from the very same Jewish roots in the holy land, all predating the "Palestinians" and Islam itself by centuries.

Consult historical records, like Josephus, or the Arch of Titus in Rome. They'll teach you we've been here a long time, and that although we've lost a few battles here and there, we've still never lost the war.

We live here because this land is the very heart of our faith and always has been. You aren't going to change that, even with the help of David Irving and Louis Farrakhan.

You can come up with any historical lies and retellings you want. But unless you want to disagree with a great segment of world history, and call quite a few of the world's other religions liars -- which actually, I suppose, doesn't really bother you much, but it might bother them -- you'd do well to reconsider your fantasy, that you can wipe the Judaism off of Israel.

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: