Friday, June 09, 2006

Why Marry? To Force a Better Divorce Settlement 

"Only in Hollywood" -- I hope. Otherwise we're all doomed.

MSNBC's "The Scoop" has the latest jaw-dropping Holmes vs. Cruise (doesn't that sound like a prize fight?) pre-nuptial details:

The happy couple [Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes] and their lawyers have come up with a contract that will give Holmes $3 million a year up to $33 million for each year that she is married to Cruise, as well as a palatial home in Montecito, California, according to Life & Style Weekly. If the marriage lasts longer than eleven years, the contract becomes void and California's community property law kicks in -- giving Holmes half of Cruise's rather sizeable fortune.

When contacted by The Scoop, Cruise's rep declined to comment, but an 'insider' told the mag that Holmes's parents had been trying to get her out of the relationship -- but have changed their minds and now want her to marry Cruise. "If she walks now, Tom will fight her for custody of [daughter Suri], and Katie can't outlast him in court," an insider told the mag. "She knows she needs to marry him to get the money to fight him for custody, if it comes to that."
It appears that Hollywood might be trying to achieve an even more traditional view of marriage than the Christian right they so love to mock. But the tradition they're aiming for is the good ol' days of Feudal Europe when Kings and Emporers expanded their business relationships through carefully contracted matrimony.

Given the intricately structured pre-nup's timetable, I can only imagine the kind of hype we're all going to have to endure in about 11 years -- the Tom and Katie Divorce Day Countdown. It's going to be HUGE.

If you really, really liked this -- or even really, really hated it -- there's lots more: