Monday, February 20, 2006

Halal Hamasnikim #1 -- New Hamas Blog Carnival 

Welcome to the inaugural edition of Halal Hamasnikim, the new Hamas Blog Carnival.

Every post promoted here is guaranteed 100% Halal -- that's "Kosher" in NeoCon-speak -- relentlessly advancing the agenda of Hamasnikim -- what Zionists call the members of the Hamas kibbutz. This new carnival is my way of taking back the original blog carnival idea which the Jews stole from us and renamed Haveil Havalim in their pathetic attempts to erase historical FACTS. The first blog carnival, they would rather you didn't know, was actually invented by Muslim scholars in the 13th century -- a time when Islamic civilization was already deeply interconnected and flourishing, while the so-called Jews and Christians were still just savages in Brooklyn and Europe, limping along with only dialup access.

And now with Hamas finally leading Islam back to its rightful place at the head of the table, let the Halal feast begin:

Big news this week as IsraellyUncool opened nominations for the upcoming Blogs that Love Allah and Mohammed awards:

I am proud to open nominations for the 1st ever BLAMs in the hope that this contest will light a fuse for explosive growth in the Islamosphere and carry that energy outward with added nails and ballbearings to decimate the Jewish and Infidel blogging spheres. Let's get out there and nominate and vote so we can show the Jews how angry we are that they stole the idea of blogging awards from us for their so-called JIB awards ("Jewish" "Israeli" Blog awards). Nominations are being accepted in the following categories: Best Post by a Blogger No Longer With Us, Angriest Blog, Best Violent Resistance Advocacy Blog, [...]
Suicide Dad talks about living incognito in America's obscenely large homes, driving its neurotically clean streets and avoiding its gestapo police forces, and how much he misses the sound of gunfire at his children's birthday parties.

Gates of Al-Quds features an in depth look at how Islam will soon capture Al-Quds (known to infidels as Jerusalem, ptui) based on a detailed study of how we won every battle at the Walls and Gates of Vienna in 1683 and every other battle our brave forces have engaged in through the centuries.

Jihadlicious explores rumors about the favorite celebrities of the Jews (mbut, Meditteranean Be Upon Them). It appears Madonna and Ethel Merman never really believed all that pseudo-Judeo Kabballah crap and are presently enrolled in Introduction to Islam classes in Beverly Hills. Allahu Akbar Jihadlicious, you go!

The warriors at Free Dumb Fighters have a top ten list to make you laugh your head off -- the ten fastest ways to clear an Israeli mall. I'm still chuckling over classics like these:

7. Just set your backpack down for an innocent trip to the restroom and watch them panic like a bunch of frightened school children.
4. When no one is looking, scream "Allahu Akbar!" in the middle of a crowd. Try not to laugh too hard or they'll know it was you.
2. Sneak into the control room and announce on the loudspeaker, "For the next 5 minutes, clearance sale across the street on Matzahs made with the blood of Muslim children!" See how they run.
AbQutab seethes righteously about a racist, islamophobic, Zionist usurper, seriously unfunny Israeli blogupationist called "AbbaGav," noting that his bile is made of nothing but absolutely agonizing alliteration, idiotic irony, and satire that is nothing more than the same gimmick played over and over and over and over again -- mocking us and, by extension, our Prophet:

AbbaGav only writes things like "The Islamist idiots incessently, irrationally incinerate innocent infants. Killing kuffirs keeps Khaled calm." His posts are nothing but "Hamas blew this up for no reason, Hamas blew that up for no reason..." On and on. And by the way stupid AbbaGav, we DO have a reason. But do you care? Do you ever write anything about our charitable services? Our fleet of ambulences? Hot lunches for Junior Jihadis? No, to AbbaGav, Hamas is nothing but explosives and the uncompromising pursuit of "Israel's" destruction. But we are so much more than that.
Crossing the Jordan2 posts links to some great time wasters, including one called "Shoot the Veep's Zionist Masterminds in the Face." I played that one over and over.

Little Green Ballbearings this week notices 18 instances in which Reuters uses the term "Israel" without quotes and in response his hundreds of commenters have dashed off form letters of complaint and threats to burn down the agency's local offices.

Kalkilya's Funniest Imam has a great "Priest, Rabbi and an Imam" joke in which the Imam does all the talking and the Priest and Rabbi convert before undertaking martyr operations. Read the whole thing. He is so funny, that one.

PaleoPundit presents his weekly summary of Jewish riots and attrocities. Once again there weren't any riots, but things did get pretty nasty at the Bet Tzedek nursing home when they ran out of rice pudding for Tuesday's second dinner seating.

Instapologist answers the Jews' spurious accusations instantly, before they spook the European donors and non-aligned supporters. For instance, this week, Instapologist answers with a single word the Zionist charges that suicide bombings against Jewish civilian targets are terrorism. Heh.

Da'wa Report does another great job of da'wa, this week extending a warm invitation to all infidels to join the true faith, or else.

Jakeem Want's His Shack Back is guest-blogging at Hajira's Hijab, or is it vice-versa, but they're having a good time so it doesn't really matter.

Shattered Bones has a fantastic cartoon post illustrating the abject stupidity of Jewish bloggers' favorite phrase, "The pen is mightier than the sword," noting they have apparently never tried sawing off an infidel's head with a felt tip marker. How does he keep coming up with this stuff?

Nazis Had Feelings Too checks in this week with his farewell post. We'll miss you, big guy, and bag one for me too.

Great-Great-Great-Grandpa's House has lost his refugee house-key and wonders where's the cheapest place to buy another.

One Billion CANNOT Be Wrong wants to know why the world makes such a big fuss about a few burned out embassies and death threats, while practically ignoring the West's continuing failure to venerate our Prophet.

Finally, the Zionists will never sneak anything past the ever-sharp and abrasive Arafat's Whiskers who this week exposes the shocking details of Zionist Death Rays emanating from imported toaster ovens. I smell a recall.

Next week's festivities will be hosted by The Red Wire -- get your entries in early!

Linked to noble blogs such as: third world county, Basil's Blog, The Uncooperative Blogger, The Real Ugly Great Satan, Customer Servant, Stop the ACLU (and the ADL, FBI, CIA, NSA and YMCA), Everyman Chronicles and Point Five (a famous number we invented)

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